Wednesday, July 12, 2006

"Your Work" vs. "YOU"

Haven't blogged for over a month now.
In my last post, which was dated way back in May, I was feeling all depressed & emo due to all kinds of reasons. And a major part of it was of course from stress @ work.

In fact, I was so affected by the kinda crap I was getting @ work that I was getting on-off minor chest pains. Consulted a couple of GPs about the chest pains I was experiencing, and was prescribed some tranquilisers to help me calm down.

Point being, is it worth risking one's health over work?! The answer is of course; most certainly not! And I've since made it a point to constantly remind myself to keep my cool when sh*t happens @ work.

Well, so what exactly is my reason for blogging about this? You see, thou' I know it's never worth ruining my health over work problems. I've never really thought it's possible for me to hold back my temper when provoked either.

But just this afternoon, I surprised even myself, over the way I handled my emotions while going thru a heated discussion with a foreign business associate.

First, there was the multiple phone calls from Mr.X to question my actions (Mr. X, a fellow business associate, who happens to be an equal with conflicting interests). Seeing where Mr. X is coming from, I took the pain to explain a good 30mins to help Mr. X see both sides of the argument since the nature of my job is somewhat stuck in the middle.

Of course Mr. X has every right to disagree with point B but also concluding that there are 2 sides to view this issue. Instead, Mr. X ended the conversation by saying: " It's all about saving face! Stating the truth only makes us (his concern party) appear stupid!". And he slams the phone. Oh... and did I mention he called me on my personal mobile?!

The usual me will be hopping mad by then (simply cannot tolerate having the phone slammed on me, especially not from a business associate). But instead, I took it pretty well. Apologised to my colleagues who were waiting for me for over half an hour. And simply carried on with the light-hearted chats & corny jokes among my colleagues as we made our way to the bus-stop.

When asked what the argument was about, I didn't even wanna bring it up. Not cos' it's so unpleasant and will spoil our moods, but just because I don't see the need/importance to do so.

I'm not sure what caused this 180 degrees turn in the way I handle my emotions @ the workplace. Perhaps it's the N-3mth ORD mood, or perhaps it's really because I've finally learnt how to separate work from personal.