A Little "Emo" Lately

I had the luxury of having some quiet time to myself to think over some stuff last weekend. Several hypothetical scenarios crossed my mind as I stared @ the view in front of me. I stood at the highest point of Kent Ridge Road, looking down @ the pretty lights that were lit up across the congested harbour.

The song: “And Then I Kissed Him” from the movie Pearl Harbour played in the background. I grinned to myself, thinking, “Mmm… I’m listening to the theme song from Pearl Harbour while gazing at the Harbour!”… Seriously! How corny can I get to even come up with that! Ha ha ha!

Back to the part about hypothetical scenarios running thru my mind, probably cos I was in a setting where the dramatic storyline of Pearl Harbour seemed all so relevant. I started to imagine I was back in one of history’s most poignant and unsettling times (being physically apart from SOMETHING made my fictitious tale easier to picture).

I imagined SOMETHING being caught in the action of war and all… imagined something happened to SOMETHING… and I stopped. There’s no need for me to imagine that! SOMETHING’s in Beirut for Christ sake! And anything can easily happen to SOMETHING there!!! @_@ *darn* I got myself worrying out of nothing again!

I asked myself how well will I cope with loved ones dying young, a common topic in trashy magazines these days. How long will I grieve over the death of someone I love? How long will it take before I forget what it felt like to be beside him? And finally, how long before I find someone new and move on? I didn’t answer any of my questions eventually. I headed home, called SOMETHING, just to know he’s well.

Next day, I asked the same questions to the people around me (I don’t know why). Most guys told me they’d definitely get a rebound girl to help them move on. Is that what most girls would do as well?

Dear Diary

Was going through some of my old stuffs the other day. And I saw a couple of my journals which I've wrote in since I was 11. Needless to say, the kinda stuffs I wrote between the age of 11-15 was, urmz.... , let's just say they were embarassing.

When I came to the most recent 2 journals, one which I started in 1998-Livia, and the other, in 2001-Matt, (Yes! Call me weird, but I name my journals as if they were a person) I noticed the huge difference in the things that were important to me, upset me, and particularly in the way I expressed my thoughts.

During my uni. days, I would sketch out the things that made the deepest impression on me in the day every time I wrote in my journal. Here, check out some of the entries in my dairy then...

BRO & ZUK ZUK (Up Close & Personal)

1st Jun 2000: Came home from school that afternoon. Saw Zuk Zuk (my stray 'pet' cat) staring @ Bro. while he snoozed on the couch. Bro woke up suddenly, (probably cos he felt sth in front of him) stared straight @ Zuk Zuk and screamed in shock! This must've scared Zuk Zuk cos at the same time, she gave out a terrified meow & jumped right out of the window! It was hilarious!!!

ROUND & ROUND THE CAROUSEL GOES

13th May 2000: I've always loved those pretty carousels @ carnivals, so romantic, so fairytale-like. I remember there used to be one @ Clarke Quay that looks just like the drawing above. Under the moonlight and star-filled sky, it was absolutely magical.

WHO'S UR DADDY?!

5th Aug 1999: And occasionally, I get some of my close pals to contribute a little something in my journal. What you see above is a 'self-portrait' Andy has done up of himself back in 1999. "Wah Wah! I bet you don't remember a thing about this! Hahaha! ! ! ".

I've never stopped writing in my journal after all these years. I may not write as frequent as I used to, neither am I as illustrative as before. But I still jot down every significant moment of my life and flip thru them every now and then. Keeps the REAL ME in me alive.

四月底的約會

上個月底， 我終于有機會和他會面了。
我們約好， 四月十八， 在曼谷的杜喜塔尼飯店大堂向見。
能再次和他手拉手一同逛街，共用每一餐，看電視直到纍了，睡了。
如此熟悉的感覺，好比找回失去以久的寶貝的那種感覺，實在是難以形容。

這次到曼谷，除了我們兩，他的大妹和妹夫也到了曼谷來看看他，順便逛逛。當然，到了曼谷，總少不了大吃大喝，已及疯狂購物啦！就因爲這樣，我又胖了好幾個公斤。Ｔ＿Ｔ

不信？！　看看以下照片中的我，我的臉是圓得像十五晚的月亮一樣！
＊哈哈＊

總之，這次的會面雖然只是短短的六天，但我玩得非常娛樂！
七月！七月趕快到來噢！！！

What I Want

Ever felt like you wanna get away from it all?
Well, that's exactly how I'm feeling right now.

I want to:
- Lie on a clear field, stare at the dark clouds in the sky, taking in the smell that lingers in the air just before it starts pouring.
- Drink myself silly till my vision is all fuzzy and lie motionless on a bed of feathers.
- Walk non-stop in a long, twining, never-ending road on a mountain.
- Stare blankly at into another's eyes when a question's being asked, with absolutely no intention/ obligation of replying.
- Lock myself in a pitch-black room, blast the music and dance without a care in the world till my limbs give up on me.

Now, what do YOU want?